7:00 to New York
by aFineMess5
Summary: An alternate ending to my previous story, "7:00 to Chicago." A portion has been reprinted here to dispel any confusion. Please R&R.
1. Prologue

[A/N: This is an alternate ending to my previous story, 7:00 to Chicago. A portion of the final chapter of that story has been recopied here for your convenience.]

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

7:00 to New York

Prologue

"Do you want me to leave?"

"You shouldn't leave."

They both froze, looking at each other, and said at the same time, "What?"

"What did you say?" CC asked.

"What did _you_ say?" Niles returned.

Rephrasing slightly, CC asked, "Do you think I should leave?"

Niles watched her staring at him carefully, wondering how to answer the question he'd asked himself for the past two weeks. No, he didn't want to her to leave. Of course he didn't. But he knew how badly she wanted to prove herself to Maxwell.

Weighing his words carefully, Niles responded, "I think it could be beneficial for your career to produce shows outside of Mr. Sheffield's shadow…"

CC knew him well enough to know that there was more he wanted to say, and yet she wasn't sure if she wanted to press it.

They stood in silence several moments longer, their eye contact eventually breaking. Finally CC slid off of the counter and put her heels back on, taking extra care with her left foot.

"You know," she began robustly, "when I think about moving, I feel like I'm missing something, almost as though I've forgotten something. But then I think about what I'm leaving behind here and it's…nothing, I guess." She finished lamely, gesturing pointlessly in midair. Her arm fell limply against her side as she made to move past Niles and rejoin the dwindling party.

In an instant, Niles grabbed her arm, spun her around, and pushed her against the kitchen wall next to the swinging door. He kissed her feverishly, plundering her mouth as his own, pouring his overwhelming feelings that he could never manage to put into words into the kiss.

The kiss' intensity was such that it was a while before CC regained herself and moved against him, pulling him closer to her and wordlessly begging him to give her something she didn't yet realize she needed.

Then it was over, he'd released her, backed off, and stared at her, his chest heaving slightly.

"If you left," he began, his voice faintly hoarse, "you'd be leaving something behind."

CC brought her fingertips to her buzzing lips, not looking away from Niles yet not quite looking at him, either. "But…what would I be leaving behind, exactly?"

This time it was Niles who gestured pointlessly in the air. "I don't know. It's been how many years, and I still don't know."

"Shouldn't we know by now?" CC asked quietly, and Niles wondered if she was presenting the question to him or to herself.

"If you leave, we never will."

He stepped closer to her once more, made brazen by the thought that this might be his one chance to convince the entirely un-convince-able Babcock. He brought his hand up to her face, gently pushing the hair that had fallen out of the pin behind her ear. Leaning forward slightly, he pressed a light kiss to her cheek. The kindness and sweetness of this gesture quaked her remaining resolve and tears began to flood her eyes.

When Niles noticed this, he pulled her gently forward and enveloped her in his arms. He held her as he had never been able to before, amazed by how delicate she could feel. Slowly her arms snaked around his middle and he held her tighter, inhaling the scent of her hair. The singular rightness of their embrace proved to him, as nothing else ever had before, how much he felt for the woman in his arms.

"But, Niles," CC said into his shoulder, ending the hug and sliding her arms away from him. "I don't know if I can put my life on hold just because there's a possibility that something might happen here. I…I don't know if that's fair to me."

Niles looked at her, bewildered. He wanted to kiss her again, to prove the spark between them; he wanted to shake her and yell that there was more than a possibility, it was an actuality; he wanted to tell her that _not_ seeing what could happen between them would be more than just unfair to both of them, it would be a gross miscarriage of justice that could surely warrant some sort of lawsuit; he wanted to remind her that life was bleak and meaningless unless they experienced it together. As the seconds ticked past, Niles wanted just to say _something_, anything at all, and yet speech seemed to be failing him.

The wry part of his brain told him that naturally, in the moment when he truly needed to convince her, he would stand there like some sort of mute while she slipped away. And yet another part of his brain, the part that understood CC Babcock as well as she could be understood, told him that any words he could think of would be utterly futile because CC needed to convince herself.

And so he let her leave the kitchen without a fight.

_One and a half years later…_

Fran slunk down next to Niles on the couch, her hands wrapped around a mug of steaming cocoa. "What's on next?"

"_Miracle on 34__th__ Street_," Niles answered, tossing a kernel of popcorn into his mouth.

"Ooh, one of my favorites!" Fran exclaimed. She nonchalantly glanced over her shoulder at the front door and, catching Niles' glance, played it off as though she were stretching her neck.

"Mrs. Sheffield, I really should prepare for tomorrow's feast," Niles said. "Mr. Sheffield puts a lot of emphasis on Christmas Eve dinner."

"Oy, don't worry about my husband. I'll distract him," Fran said with a private grin. Niles responded with a slight grimace of his own and shifted his focus back on the television. He could prepare everything in the morning.

Fran's hands clenched her mug as time wore on. It became increasingly dark outside and the children came in one by one to say goodnight. Fran tried to focus her attention on the man desperately trying to prove he was Santa Claus but found she couldn't.

Finally, she heard a car door shut outside and couldn't hide the grin that exploded on her face. Niles thought nothing of it and continued watching the movie. As coolly as possible, Fran set her mug down and stood, walking over to the front door and peering through the metal latticework.

Niles, assuming she'd gone to the restroom, didn't even look around until the door opened and Fran greeted whoever was on the other side. Curiously, Niles stood, one hand clutching a blanket and the other nestling the bowl of popcorn at his side.

His heart jammed against his ribcage once, twice, and then slowed to a dangerously languorous beat.

With snowflakes twinkling in her hair and a scarf draped artfully around her neck, CC Babcock had never looked more radiant. The mile-wide smile on CC's face mirrored the one on Fran's, and they embraced warmly. CC's gloved hand was wrapped around the handle of her suitcase and she stepped further into the home. Her eyes met Niles' and her smile faltered while Niles' still widened. Fran's grin had already disappeared.

For behind CC was a tall, sculpted man with thick brown hair and a strong jaw made more enticing by the five o'clock shadow that dared to grace it. Fran and Niles harbored a secret desire for this man to be someone, anyone than who they already knew it was. Their dreams were dashed when the man slid his hand around CC's waist and smiled, remarking on how lovely the home was.


	2. Chapter One

[A/N: Many thanks for the reviews, as they gave me even more inspiration than I'd originally had.]

Chapter One

Niles poked the eggs in the pan glumly, waiting for them to cook. If someone were to tell him that, on Christmas Eve morning, he'd be preparing breakfast for the Sheffield family as well as CC Babcock and her _boyfriend_, Niles would have laughed in that person's face. Now, he was certain that someone somewhere was laughing at him.

Fran had the presence of mind as well as the ability to mindlessly chat to keep the couple busy for the few moments they remained in the foyer. They retired soon after they arrived, citing travel fatigue. Niles didn't care what it was, and he didn't stick around long enough to catch any of Fran's sympathetic glances.

The woman of his thoughts—the brunette, not the blonde—entered the kitchen, her fuzzy slippers flopping against the floor. She bit her lip nervously for a few moments before deciding to face the troubles head-on.

"Niles, I—"

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly, still staring intently at the eggs.

Fran sighed. "I thought she was coming alone."

"But you knew she was coming."

"Yes. She's surprising everyone for Christmas. I think her father's in town, too," Fran explained.

Niles sprinkled some salt and pepper into the pan and turned over the bacon.

"Niles, I had no idea she had a boyfriend. You have to believe me," Fran said, her voice a little desperate. Despite the variety of high-jinx and drama she often encountered, she truly hated conflict and couldn't stand it when anyone was mad at her.

"I believe you," Niles said, his voice still quiet.

Fran bit her lip again but was interrupted by the arrival of Brighton and Grace in the kitchen.

"Niles, it smells awesome," Brighton said, peering over the butler's shoulder. His face appeared crestfallen. "Where're the pancakes?"

Niles motioned silently to the oven, where the pancakes were staying warm.

"My man," Brighton said, clapping him on the back. He swiped a piece of bacon cooling on a plate and went off into the dining room.

"Did I hear Miss Babcock's voice upstairs?" Grace asked. Fran nodded and looped her arm into her adopted daughter's, leading her into the dining rom.

When the door stopped swinging, Fran sat in her usual seat and turned to the kids. "Yeah. Miss Babcock's in town, visiting for Christmas."

"Why's she here now?" Brighton asked, pouring himself some orange juice.

"Whaddaya mean?" Fran asked, taking the colander after he was finished.

"Well, she didn't visit last Christmas after she left. She hasn't visited at all. She didn't even show up for your and dad's wedding," Brighton pointed out.

Fran shifted in her seat, uncertain.

"I don't blame her," Grace said softly from her seat. The two heads in the room turned to look at her inquiringly. "Well, I don't. Her departure wasn't exactly the sort I'd want if I were leaving a place I'd worked for 10 years."

"She still works with dad," Brighton said.

Grace looked at him in the pitying way that Fran looked at Maxwell when he said something oblivious. "It isn't the same. Still, I do wonder why she came back now."

"And that's not all—" Fran began. She stopped when CC and "not all" entered the room. Brighton looked up blankly and Grace raised her eyebrows.

"Good morning, everyone," CC greeted warmly.

"Morning, Miss Babcock. Welcome back," Grace replied.

"Yeah, welcome back," Brighton added.

"Brighton, Gracie, this is Charles," Fran introduced. "Charles, this is Brighton and Grace."

"Nice to meet you," Charles said in a pleasant bass tone. He shook the children's hands and then stood next to CC, unsure of where to sit.

"Where's the big one?" CC asked, sitting across from Grace. CC motioned to the seat next to her at the opposite head of the table. Charles sat down obediently.

"Stuffing her bra," Brighton retorted.

"Brighton!" Fran gasped.

"Better than stuffing your pants," Grace said pointedly.

"Gracie!" Fran said, even more shocked.

CC looked at Grace appreciatively. "Well, look at the little one, all grown up." Grace responded with a satisfied smile.

"It's all right, Fran," Charles said with a chuckle. "I have an older and a younger sister. I know how these things are."

Fran smiled weakly. Maxwell entered the dining room minutes later, apologizing for his lateness.

"CC, it's wonderful to see you again," Maxwell said, giving CC a prim hug and a chaste kiss on the cheek. "And this is…?"

"Maxwell, this is Charles," CC replied. Charles stood and shook Maxwell's hand politely.

"Ah, is this a new business contact?" Max asked, turning and walking to his regular seat. "You never stop working, do you, CC?"

"Uh, honey…" Fran began. Brighton began laughing at his father's obtuseness and Grace rolled her eyes.

Just then, Niles entered the room with large serving platters of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. He set them down and then took his post near Maxwell's chair. The family began serving themselves.

"What were you saying, Fran?" Maxwell asked. He didn't pay attention for the answer as he turned to Charles and continued, "You know, I've been particularly impressed with your work in Chicago, CC. We've nearly tripled our profits, if you'll excuse my discussion of money during breakfast. And now you've brought a business prospect!" He used the tongs to put two pancakes on his plate and went on, "So, Charles, what business are you in? Investing? Backing? Creative?"

"Charles is her boyfriend, dad," Brighton told him. CC raised her eyes, surprised that the rest of the family already knew.

"Oh. Oh, of course," Maxwell said, looking up curiously as Niles walked into the kitchen.

"I do apologize for arriving unannounced," Charles said, a friendly smile on his face. "I'd planned on spending the holiday in Chicago but my family decided to vacation in Manhattan at the last minute. And when Cee announced she was coming here, too, well, I couldn't pass up the opportunity."

"It's great to meet ya, Charlie," Fran said, chopping up the bacon on her plate.

"Fran, aren't Jewish people supposed to not eat bacon?" Grace asked quietly.

"God can't tell if it's chopped up and before 9 am, sweetie," Fran whispered back.

"Still, Maxwell, Fran, I feel awful intruding upon your home. I have plans to phone the Plaza later to see if they have any rooms available," Charles said.

"Nonsense!" Maxwell said. "Any friend of CC's is a friend of ours. Well…you know what I mean."

The family continued eating breakfast, with Fran, CC, and Grace being the only members to feel the tension.

Later, CC and Charles left to visit their respective families and Fran decided to attempt peace negotiations with Niles.

She entered the kitchen hesitantly, watching for a few moments as he tossed pots and pans onto the stove roughly.

"How's it goin', Niles?" Fran asked.

"Just fine," Niles replied sarcastically. "I absolutely enjoy preparing for two more people at the last minute for a feast."

Fran nodded and tapped her fingers against the counter. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Not unless we suddenly decide to order Chinese."

Fran sighed. "I'm sorry. I should have told you she was coming."

"You probably should have." He walked to the subzero and pulled another Cornish hen out of the freezer.

"But you believe me that I had no idea she was bringing Charles."

"I already said I believe you, Mrs. Sheffield," Niles said, throwing the hen into the sink and turning on the hot water.

"Well, good because—"

"I didn't say that I forgive you," Niles cut in. He turned and pulled some fresh herbs from the counter next to the stove to begin chopping them.

Fran opened her mouth and then closed it again. Instead, she turned and left the kitchen. She followed the hallway, admiring the holiday decorations, and entered Maxwell's office.

Before his wife could say anything, Maxwell said, "I know, I know. I'm only going over the financial papers CC brought with her. I won't work any longer on Christmas Eve, darling."

"I know," Fran said, barely listening to him. She shut the door behind her and walked over, hopping onto Maxwell's desk. "Sweetie, do you remember when Miss Babcock moved away?"

"Of course," Max replied, peering through his glasses at the report.

"Well, do you remember Niles being…sad?" Fran asked.

"Sad?" Maxwell repeated incredulously, as though the only thing more shocking than a Brit showing an emotion was actually having one.

"Yes. It's that thing you feel when something bad happens and you wish it weren't," Fran elaborated.

"I know what it means, sweetheart," Maxwell said, removing his glasses. "I don't recall him being particularly sad. Perhaps a little quiet."

Fran nodded, trying to remember more about the time CC left. It was with no small amount of shame that she realized she hadn't given CC's departure much thought, especially since it was around that time that Maxwell began to show more romantic interest in her. With even more disappointment in herself, Fran realized that she hadn't paid much attention to Niles at that time, either.

"In any case, why would Niles be sad about CC leaving? I should think he'd be a little happy. You know, he never did seem to…_enjoy_ her," Max said. With that, he replaced his glasses and continued reading.

"I think the way Niles _enjoys_ people might be different from how other people do," Fran conjectured.

"Hmm," was all Maxwell offered.

Fran rolled her eyes and left the office.


	3. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

CC arrived back at the manse as the sun began its descent, hanging up her coat in the closet. She stood for a moment in the foyer, remembering hundreds of times that Niles would greet her with an insult or a sneer. She supposed he was too busy preparing for the dinner.

Knowing Charles wasn't going to return for another hour or so—he seemed to actually like being around his family—CC walked down the hallway, crossed through the dining room, and poked her head into the kitchen.

A wave of delicious aromas met her, causing her stomach to rumble. Despite Chicago's impressive choice of restaurants, CC hadn't eaten anything like Niles' cooking in the past year and a half. It surprised her how much she missed it.

"Hi, Niles," she said. She saw him jump slightly as he turned around.

"Good evening," he replied stiffly.

"Good evening?" CC repeated. "That's all you've got for me?"

Niles remained quiet and CC supposed that was all he had to say.

"Dinner smells delicious," CC said in an attempt to broker some peace.

"It would have been better if I'd known that I had to prepare for two more," Niles responded, still staring right at her.

CC paused. So that was it. He hadn't known she was coming. She'd banked on Fran never being able to keep a secret. "I'm sorry."

Niles looked at her more closely. "Are you?"

"I'm sorry for the things I should be sorry for," CC replied coolly. "Nothing else."

"Ah, therein lies the problem, you see," Niles said, pointlessly straightening a plate that he would soon be taking into the dining room. "Maybe you aren't aware of everything you should be sorry for."

CC raised her eyebrows. This man could certainly piss her off; that much she'd remembered. "And yet some of us aren't apologizing for anything."

Niles simply hoisted two of the platters containing the Cornish hens onto his arms and swiveled past her to enter the dining room. CC sighed and walked up the back staircase to get ready for dinner.

Soon after, the entire family gathered in the dining room to enjoy the delicious feast. As usual during a holiday, Niles sat across from Fran to enjoy the meal as well. Margaret, Sylvia, and Yetta made it a family affair.

Sylvia, never one to notice the Niles and CC dynamic, was smitten with the sophisticated, handsome Charles and wanted to know all about him.

"Tell us how you met Maggie," Yetta suggested.

"Er…Maggie?" Charles asked, looking politely inquisitive.

"She means CC," Fran explained. "Yetta's a little…forgetful."

Charles nodded and began explaining the show he'd taken in with his niece and how he'd been floored by it. Using his connections, he managed to take his niece backstage and had encountered CC.

"Yeah, but how'd you manage to crack that egg?" Brighton asked.

"Brighton, that's no way to refer to CC," Maxwell admonished. Brighton shrugged and Niles gave him a subtle high-five.

Charles, who found CC to be rather easygoing, was confused at what they meant.

"I think my son meant to ask how you and CC began your relationship," Fran rephrased.

"That's not what I meant," Brighton muttered. Niles laughed.

Charles ignored them and went on to explain, grabbing CC's hand and giving her a sweet smile.

Charles loosened his tie and sat down in the arm chair in the guest room.

"When do I get to open my presents?" CC asked excitedly.

Charles laughed and pulled off his shoes. "On Christmas Day, dear."

CC checked her thin platinum watch. "That's in about half an hour."

"I doubt I'll be awake," he replied, stifling a yawn. He untucked his shirt and began to unbutton it. CC changed into her pajama pants but kept her red sweater on.

"Are you enjoying yourself here?" CC asked nervously. She wasn't entirely sure why she was nervous.

"Of course. Everyone's pleasant," Charles replied, folding his shirt carefully before placing it on the bed. He stood and began to remove his pants, quickly replacing them with his flannel pajamas. "Well…"

"What?" CC asked. He had the same look on his face that he got whenever something distasteful was in his mouth.

"I just…well, I don't wish to offend anyone," he said.

"Say it," CC urged, pushing away the twinge of annoyance she felt. There were times when she wanted to shake him so that his polite, sweet façade would fall off like an old trinket covered in dust.

"It's just that the butler seems a little…off," Charles said.

"Oh?" CC asked lightly. She'd never mentioned Niles before to Charles.

"He seems rather unfriendly," he admitted. "Again, I don't want to offend. And I don't really _know_ the man, but he seems to act out of his place."

CC laughed. If only he knew. "Yes, well. That's Niles."

"Really? It doesn't seem proper."

"No, I guess it isn't. Fran used to be the nanny, though, so I guess things aren't proper in this house," CC said, tucking her feet under her legs on the bed.

"I can't imagine that happening in my home. But then again, my nanny was a frightful old thing and I don't think I ever heard the butler speak a word," Charles said. He shrugged. "Still. To each his own. They seem like a wonderful family."

"Well, if you can break into it," CC muttered.

"Hm?" Charles asked. CC shook her head. "Well, dear, I'm going to turn in. I'm pretty tired."

"All right," CC said, standing up. "I think I might go watch some television downstairs."

"Don't stay up too late or Santa won't come," he said teasingly. He leaned over and kissed her sweetly.

"Goodnight," she said. She left the room and shut the door quietly behind her. Soft lights remained on at every corner and lit the way to the main staircase. A flicker of silver light flooding over the parquet told her that someone else had her idea first. She almost turned around to return to her room when she saw that it was Niles.

Taking a good two minutes to weigh her options, she finally decided to join him.

Niles looked up from his bourbon and sighed when he saw who was joining him. Custom and his last bit of chivalry dictated that he pour her one, too. She took it with a smile and sat on the opposite side of the couch.

"What brings you here?" Niles asked.

CC wondered if he meant the living room or New York City. She went with the safer option and replied, "I wasn't tired yet."

"Ahh, but Prince Charming was."

"Yes. He thinks you're unfriendly," CC told him.

"How heartbreaking. And what do you think?" he asked.

CC looked at the bottle of bourbon and wondered how much the butler had already consumed. "I think that's his uberpolite way of calling you a jackass. And I agree that you are a jackass."

"Good to know my legacy lives on," Niles said, draining his glass.

CC sipped hers.

"I have to ask, Babcock. What exactly is it that you think I should apologize for?" Niles asked.

It surprised CC how effortlessly she slipped back into their usual flow of conversation. She didn't even need to ask what he was talking about. "Niles, I don't think we should talk about this."

"Why not, Babs? It's Christmas. Time for honesty and all that fun stuff."

"I don't really think Christmas is a time for honesty," CC said, her face rumpling.

"Why not? We've never been honest with each other before," Niles told her.

CC sighed. "It's this, Niles. Your whole…act."

"Act?"

"Yes. You present these monumental truths as though I'm supposed to already understand and accept them and before I even have the chance to consider it, it's yanked away," CC told him.

Niles paused, considering what she'd said. "If memory serves, you're the one who yanked it away."

"Because I didn't have a choice! I was leaving the next morning at 7 am, and you decided to tell me less than 12 hours before that I would, in fact, be leaving something behind," CC told him, downing the rest of her drink.

Niles wordlessly refilled it. He set the bottle back on the table and they sat in silence for a few moments. "You still left," he finally said.

"Do you blame me?" CC asked, gesturing helplessly with her arms.

"Obviously," Niles remarked. Then he chuckled, and she laughed, and for a moment, she hoped that things were better.

"So what's the story with your Ken doll that you brought?" Niles asked a few moments later, and CC remembered that they weren't.

"He's very nice," CC said carefully. "And he makes me happy."

Niles looked at her shrewdly for a few moments and then sighed, his face turning sad. "Well. Congratulations, then."

"Niles, I…"

"Why did you come back?" he asked, and this time, she didn't need to wonder what he meant.

"Because…because I wanted to see everyone," CC lied. In truth, she wasn't entirely certain why she'd returned.

"You could have done that at their wedding," Niles pointed out.

CC nodded, but she didn't have the words to say that she wasn't ready to see him at that point. Perhaps it was easier for her to face him again with someone steady like Charles at her side. "How was the wedding?"

"Beautiful and overdone, and don't change the subject," Niles answered.

"Niles…" CC paused and then, the words she'd kept bottled up for the past year and a half came bubbling up and frothed over. "You didn't say _anything_. I wanted a reason to stay and you kissed me and gave me a hint that there were reasons. But you didn't _actually_ give me any. I was standing there, waiting for you to say something, and you didn't say anything."

Niles stared at a spot over near the fireplace. He could still see a few ashes smoldering inside it. His annoyance pulsed and flickered with the ashes until the things he hadn't realized were bothering him for the past 18 months came surging forth. "You can't put it all on me. You'd made the decision to leave and it wasn't until the night before that you showed any sign of uncertainty. I found out from Mrs. Sheffield that you were leaving. You never even told me yourself. Then I'm supposed to put it all forth and fight for you?"

"One of us had to do something," CC said.

"And it's supposed to be me?" Niles asked, his tone revealing his annoyance.

"Yes!" CC exclaimed, finishing her bourbon and setting it on the coffee table with a finalizing _clink_. She stood and, almost in unison, Niles stood too.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because it just is," CC sighed. "This is why it's easier with Charles. _Better_ with Charles," she amended.

They stood, nearer than they'd been in so long, and stared at each other. CC's skin felt alight and Niles could have sworn his was humming. In a moment, Niles stepped forward just as CC stepped back.

"Look. It's midnight," she said, pointing at the clock on the mantle and stopping when she noticed her hand was shaking. "Merry Christmas, Niles."

"Merry Christmas, Miss Babcock," Niles said, deflating.

"Well…goodnight, then," she said, taking the long route around the coffee table, back through the foyer, and up the stairs.

"Goodnight," Niles said quietly to the empty room.


	4. Chapter Three

[A/N: So. It's been about three months since I've updated this. My sincerest apologies: life got in the way, but life is also what brought me back to writing. Thank you to everyone who is reviewing, and I'm posting this chapter in the hopes that motivation will return for me to both finish this story and complete the other ideas I have floating around.]

Chapter Three

CC rolled away from Charles to face the wall. By the sliver of moonlight shining in through the curtains, she reached up and glanced at her watch.

_Only one hour?_ she thought to herself, rolling her eyes. Sleep was eluding her for the first time in a long time, and she wasn't enjoying it at all.

In fact, an entirely too familiar internal restlessness seemed to plague her. It wasn't familiar in the recent sense, of course, but it was something she'd felt all throughout her tenure here. It's what had caused her insomnia at night and what often drove her to either drink or work out, depending on the time of day and her mood otherwise.

She sighed and sat up quietly. She cocked her head and watched as Charles slept, noticing the strange rhythm with which he breathed. It was a strange thing to notice, yes, but she usually fell asleep first and had never lain in bed, unable to sleep.

Figuring that somehow the bourbon was keeping her awake, CC decided that some soothing tea might help combat it. She pushed the covers back and silently slid into her cashmere slippers. Just as quietly, she left the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

Flipping on the light switch in the kitchen, she blinked several times in succession to get her bearings. Within moments, a mug of water swirled in the microwave and CC tapped her fingers impatiently against the counter.

With a rueful smile, CC thought about how easily memories came back: how to operate the microwave, where the tea bags were, what light switch operated which lights. It was as though she'd never left.

And yet she had. Her life had changed in a multitude of ways. And so had she. Hadn't she?

She dunked the tea bag into her steaming mug and waited for it to steep. That was enough introspection for one night, she decided. She didn't need any other reasons to be unable to sleep.

The biggest reason of all shuffled into the kitchen seconds later. "Miss Babcock?"

"I didn't realize you were awake," CC said, feeling that bubble of anxiety in her stomach expand by epic proportions.

"I didn't realize you knew how to fetch your own beverages," Niles replied, hiding his yawn with the back of his hand.

"Did I wake you?" she asked.

"No. I couldn't sleep," Niles said. He motioned to CC. "I gather I'm not alone in that."

She shook her head, cursing the tea for being too hot to drink just yet.

"CC—" Niles began.

She wheeled around to face him fully. "CC? Since when?"

Seeming determined to ignore her, Niles continued, "I…I only wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For calling me CC? It's terribly improper, but I'll forgive you," CC replied, turning around to face her tea. She tried to take a sip but it scalded her tongue.

Niles took this as an opportunity to continue. "No. I'd like to apologize for my behavior since you've arrived. I haven't been particularly welcoming."

"For once, we agree."

"I hadn't known you were coming, much less with someone, and it…surprised me," Niles finished.

"Surprise usually has a positive connotation to it, and judging by your behavior, I'd say you were more shocked than surprised," CC replied. "Regardless, I accept your apology."

Niles opened his mouth to reply as sarcastically as she was, but he stopped himself. Whether it was the lateness of the hour or the several bourbons he'd consumed earlier, Niles was feeling more loquacious than usual and intended to take advantage.

CC, meanwhile, did her best to ignore him and tried to rub her tongue against itself to rouse feeling in it.

"I missed you."

CC's jaw dropped and her tongue flopped out a bit; Niles was slightly appalled to discover he thought she looked adorable.

"Why?" she asked, surprising even herself with that question. She hadn't realized she'd been thinking it.

"Why? Perhaps because I was accustomed to seeing you almost every day," Niles answered. "I don't know, woman. Who asks why in response to what I said?"

"Well, who just comes out and says something so…so…_improper_?" CC spluttered.

"Improper? Is this the 17th century? You've used that word twice now. Is there a particular reason?"

"As a matter of fact, Charles thinks you act improperly. And I agree."

Niles seemed to swell in his anger. "Oh, well, I wouldn't want to offend poor Charles, such a delicate thing."

"He's more of a man than you are," CC shot back.

"Must be why you felt you needed to bring him here to parade him around like your star pony," Niles remarked.

CC eyed him coolly. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Babcock. You don't show up for the wedding but you come for Christmas? As a minion of Satan, this has to be your least favorite holiday. It just doesn't add up," Niles replied.

"So you think I brought him here to rub it in your face?" CC asked.

"It certainly seems that way."

CC laughed cruelly. "You give yourself too much credit."

"Then why did you come here, and why did you bring him?" Niles inquired, faux-politely.

Ignoring her tea, CC bunched up her fists and tried to edge past him. Her jaw was set firmly and she worked to put up the appearance that his question was beneath her.

Niles gently grasped her wrist and was instantly transported to this same kitchen, 18 months ago, when he'd done so in a more desperate manner. "Why?" he asked softly.

CC held her chin cartoonishly high, desperate not to look at him.

With his other hand, he stroked her cheek and watched as she unclenched slightly. "Why?"

"Niles…" CC began, her voice a mixture of sadness and persuasion.

He found that the sound of his name on her lips was suddenly delicious, and the need to taste it overrode his other senses like reason and, yes, propriety.

It took her a split second to realize he was going to kiss her and another one to acknowledge that she wasn't going to stop him.

Their lips met comfortably, as though they were engaging in a practice that they'd long ago perfected. He let go of her wrist and slid his arm around her, his hand flat against the small of her back. She brought her hands up to his shoulders and pulled him closer.

In a moment, the embers burst into a fire and he dug his fingers into her flesh. She matched the movement with her own hands, the friction of their lips sliding against each other creating enough electricity to light up the five burroughs.

His right hand sliding against the side of her breast both elicited a moan from the back of her throat and brought her back to herself.

Pressing her hands more firmly against him, she pushed him away. "No, Niles. I…I'm with Charles."

The mention of _his_ name fully deflated him. "But…"

"I'm not doing _this_ again," CC said more steadily. She moved past him, successfully this time, and went upstairs.

The next morning brought a tense breakfast. What marked it as different from the previous evening's dinner was that Charles, too, noticed the tension. His only remark on it was a silent, pointed look at CC, who merely turned to face her coffee mug instead.

"What are your plans for Christmas?" Fran asked, looking at the couple. As before, she noticed the tension and sought to diffuse it in a misdirected attempt to relieve some of the guilt she felt over Niles' anger with her.

"Ah, well," Charles said as CC clearly wasn't going to talk, "I'll leave shortly to spend the day with my parents and I believe CC is having lunch with her father and brother."

"That sounds great," Fran said with a wide grin.

CC continued to ignore them and looked down at her breakfast plate. Her tongue still tingled unpleasantly, not allowing her to taste anything set before her. _Well_, CC thought as Niles reentered the dining room, _not everything_.

What happened the previous night was set like a fissure between them; the difference was that Niles stood curiously on the edge, peering over it, whereas CC, terrified, had backed away as far as possible. Neither trusted the other to jump over the crevice and both doubted their own ability to do so.

What _was_ certain, however, was that something profound seemed to have shifted within CC. Surprisingly, she'd been able to fall asleep as soon as she returned to her room. Whatever had been restless within her had abated, for the moment, and her few hours of sleep had been restful.

She chanced another look at Niles and promptly looked away. Even though she would not and seemingly could not face what was between them, she could not deny the pull she felt towards him. Things between them were effortless and came back to CC as easily as her memory of the Sheffield's kitchen had.

She'd missed him, too. She knew that now. She also knew she couldn't tell him that.


	5. Chapter Four

[A/N: I dedicate this chapter to Kate, who reads but never reviews. Apologies for the delay.]

Chapter Four

"Merry Christmas, dear," Evelyn said, giving her son a warm hug.

"Merry Christmas," Charles returned. "Where's dad?"

"He took some business call in the hotel conference room," she replied. Seeing her son's look, she quickly continued, "I know. It's Christmas. He'll be back soon."

Charles smiled and sat down on the loveseat near the crackling fireplace. "Where's Aunt Helen?"

"She was waiting for your cousin and the baby to arrive, and then they'd all head over," Evelyn explained. "Not much longer now. Where's your special lady?"

"She's having lunch with her father and brother," he explained, hurriedly thinking of something else to discuss.

Evelyn beat her son to the punch. "Why on earth didn't they just come here? I can't imagine spending Christmas with just two people. It's a family event."

"Her family is…different from ours, mom."

"Still. I find it silly that we're all in New York and I won't even get the chance to meet her," Evelyn continued, eyeing her son closely. She saw him dart his eyes away.

"Well…perhaps later this week," Charles offered.

Evelyn let the matter drop for now as her husband entered the room and shared Christmas greetings with their son.

As the three waited for the rest of the family to arrive, Jack turned to Charles. "Where's this lady I haven't heard a thing about?"

"I told you about her yesterday, dad," Charles said with a sigh. He suddenly felt like he was in prep school again.

"And I'd like to know why she isn't here today," Jack said simply. "She's successful, comes from good stock, and allegedly beautiful. So why isn't she here?"

Evelyn watched her son quietly. "Did you even invite her, Charlie?"

He sighed. This wasn't something he discussed with anyone; his parents were the only people he knew who felt comfortable enough to prod him in such a fashion. His buddies back in Chicago knew enough to leave his business alone.

"No, I didn't invite her."

For a moment, Evelyn seemed to have a satisfied smile on her face. Now things made more sense. "How are things going with you two?"

"Fine," Charles answered automatically. "She's pleasant. I enjoy discussing things with her. Things are…"

"Effortless?" Evelyn guessed.

"Easy," Charles finished. "Everything just makes sense."

Evelyn sighed while her husband nodded. "Good, son. That's the way it should be."

At this, Evelyn smacked her husband's arm. "No, it isn't! Charles, honey, you sound like a person planning a business deal." _And not a man in love_, Evelyn finished silently. However intrusive she appeared to be, she refused to push her children in one particular direction or another.

He shrugged one shoulder noncommittally and breathed a sigh of relief when his Aunt Helen and her family knocked on the hotel room door.

"All right," CC said dully into her cell phone. She mindlessly flicked a piece of lint off the duvet cover.

"Let me call you later, kitten," Stuart said in her ear. "Maybe dinner will work."

CC had had this discussion too many times in her life to harbor any hope for dinner plans. Still, she responded, "Maybe. Good luck on the deal."

"Oh, they'll cave," he replied with the confidence of a man whose wants were almost always met. He wished his youngest daughter a Merry Christmas once more before hanging up.

She sighed and tossed the phone down on the mattress. Her father's cancellation of lunch would lead almost instantaneously to Noel's cancellation. He saw CC more regularly now that she lived in Chicago and he would see no special reason to see her on Christmas. More than likely, Noel was probably trying to wrangle a flight back to Evanston right now.

While she wasn't disappointed in her ruined Christmas plans, she was now worried at what Niles would say. Her excuses for returning to Manhattan with Charles were even thinner now, as she couldn't claim family plans as her main reason anymore. She wished she hadn't left Chester in the kennel; with him here, she could have at least taken the world's longest walk through Central Park to find an excuse to leave the mansion.

"Maybe I'll just stay in here all day," CC muttered.

Just then, someone knocked on the door and nasally asked, "Miss Babcock?"

"Maybe not," CC said as she stood to open the door. "Yes, Miss Fine?"

"It's Mrs. Sheffield now," Fran corrected, preening at the chance to use her new name again.

"Yes, Mrs. Sheffield?" CC reworded.

"I brought hot cocoa," Fran said, holding up two mugs.

"For what?" CC asked blankly.

"Oh, I read in _Cosmo_ that hot cocoa just gives the _best_ facials and—" Fran cut herself off. "To drink them, silly!" She handed one to CC and hopped over to sit in the armchair near the window.

CC sat down cautiously on the bed, crossing her legs. She rest the mug on the 'x' her legs formed and looked at Fran expectantly. "Well?"

"_Well_, I was thinking we could chat. Now that you don't have any plans for Christmas and I, being Jewish, have no plans, we could kill some time with some girl talk," Fran explained.

"I suppose we cou—how do you know I don't have any plans for Christmas now?"

"So how did Charles first ask you out?" Fran asked, drastically changing the subject.

CC rolled her eyes and took a sip of the hot chocolate. "Well, he was a little interested and didn't take ten years to make a move."

Fran crumpled her forehead in confusion but made a mental note of it anyway. She was determined to get to the bottom of things. "That sounds…eh…romantic. How long have you been together?"

CC thought for a moment. "About…hm…six months? Maybe eight."

Fran nodded as though that number were impressive. "Is it serious?"

CC, never one who enjoyed that question, responded in kind. "Our relationship isn't a joke so I suppose it's serious."

"Do you live with him?"

"_Mrs. _Sheffield, I'm not one who regularly participates in girl talk but is it supposed to feel like a police interrogation?" CC returned.

Fran considered this for a moment before shaking her head. "You're right. Ask me a question."

"What's up with the butler?" CC asked.

Fran almost choked on her hot cocoa; that was going to be _her_ next question for CC. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he's even more unpleasant and he doesn't seem so chummy with you."

Fran weighed her answer carefully before responding, "I think the last year or so has been kind of tough on him. He was…he seemed depressed after you moved. And he's mad at me because I didn't tell him you were coming back."

CC nodded, discovering that the news of Niles' apparent depression at her departure wasn't as gratifying as she'd hoped it would be. In fact, she bristled a bit at it and couldn't figure out why.

"Miss Babcock, if you don't mind me asking…what happened between you guys before you left?" Fran asked brazenly. She took another sip of her drink to continue the guise of insouciance.

"I don't really think that's any of—"

"Because it seems to me," Fran continued, not making eye contact with CC, "that a person who's happy in another relationship wouldn't really mind answering a question like that."

It was, of course, a logical fallacy but it made enough sense to give CC pause. Even more so, it was a surprisingly deft chess move on Fran's part; CC couldn't truly balk at answering without revealing that perhaps things with Charles weren't rooted in paradise as well as any lingering feelings for Niles. Despite her annoyance at now having to answer the question, CC felt a glimmer of respect for the former nanny.

"Well…" CC began slowly, trying to discover how to tell this story without getting too involved emotionally. Of course, she'd never been capable of abiding by the stipulation of "without getting too involved emotionally" when it came to the butler, so if she'd had any sense, she would have flatly refused to answer Fran's question. "If you really want to know, I had my doubts about leaving."

Fran raised her eyebrows without saying anything.

"I didn't want to…well, I didn't want to leave New York if it seemed like I might be leaving things behind. Unfinished things, I guess. The absolutely wonderful party you threw for me," at this, Fran hung her head in some shame, "certainly helped me realize I didn't have much here in the city. But I'd lived here for more than a decade and what kind of loser can live in a place for that long and have nothing keeping her there?"

At this, CC's cheeks rose in color and a part of her brain told her to stop there. The rest of her brain told that part to shut up because she was mightily pissed off again.

"So I was in the kitchen and Niles came in. I asked him if he thought I should leave and one thing led to another and he _slightly_ hinted that I'd be leaving something behind. He said I'd never know what I'd left behind if I didn't try to find out. I told him that it wasn't fair for me to leave everything on hold just because of a slim chance of there being something, you know? So I stood there and I stared at him."

At this point, Fran was on the edge of her seat, desperate for the romantic solution. She was too caught up in the soap opera that was Niles and CC to realize that there was none.

"And?" Fran blurted.

CC turned to her with a sad look in her eyes. Fran was shocked to identify that, as the only emotions she'd ever noticed in the blonde's face were ones rooted in anger.

"And he said nothing."

"He said _nothing_?" Fran exclaimed.

CC nodded in affirmation. "He let me go and…well, I guess I figured that if he could let me go like that, there really was nothing to stay for. So I left and moved to Chicago."

Fran sat back in the arm chair, utterly disappointed and annoyed with her friend. "Wow. I had no idea, Miss Babcock."

"Yeah, well, no one does," CC muttered. In the aftermath of her angry and slightly emotional story, she felt the residual shame of having done so. She cleared her throat, took a drink of her cocoa, and looked up at Fran. "So…so tell me about the wedding."

Fran recovered instantaneously and began a detailed description of the wedding; for once, she did so not out of a proud, delirious desire to share her happy day with another but instead out of a compassionate need to distract CC and allow her to pretend that she wasn't upset.

Fran held the two empty mugs and traipsed down into the kitchen. Spying Niles checking on the turkey in the oven, she decided two things: one, that Niles had no reason to still be angry with her; and two, that she was going to tell him what was on her mind even if he was. She set the mugs in the sink and turned to Niles, who had stood and was eyeing her carefully.

"Do you need anything, Mrs. Sheffield?" he asked politely.

"You have no reason to still be angry with me, Niles," Fran said authoritatively. No one could ever accuse her of not saying what was on her mind.

Niles sighed. "I know."

"That's not fair, Niles, because I only wanted to surprise you and I couldn't have known that she was going to—heh?" Fran interrupted herself. "You know?"

"Yes. I wasn't upset with you. Not really."

Fran took a moment to re-route her conversational pattern. It had taken an unforeseen detour. "Who were you upset with, then?"

"Well…Miss Babcock, I suppose," Niles responded.

"That's just your problem, Niles," Fran said hotly. "You have no right to be angry with her, either."

Niles raised his eyebrows. He'd assumed—wrongfully, clearly—that Fran would be happy that he wasn't angry with her anymore. Now it seemed that she was upset with him. "Mrs. Sheffield, I…I'd hesitate against trying to understand the dynamics between Miss Babcock and myself."

"Which is exactly why I ignored it for the past 6 years, mister," Fran replied. "But as a woman, I can stay quiet no longer."

"When exactly were you staying quiet before?"

"Never mind that," Fran huffed. "Look, Niles, we've been good friends for 6 years. And I want to see you happy. But you have a tendency to…you can't just expect things to happen. You have to _do_ something. You have to…to make things happen, ya know? You have to fight for what you want."

"Are you saying that I have no right to be mad at Miss Babcock because I didn't fight for her?" Niles asked.

"Yes."

"I…I tried, Mrs. Sheffield," Niles said quietly.

"Did you? Did you _really_?" Fran pressed.

Niles remained silent. He showed no signs of responding anytime soon, so Fran merely looked at him sympathetically and left when Grace started calling for her from her room.

He walked over to sit at the kitchen table, his hands clasped together in front of him. He'd spent the last several months fostering his anger for CC until it had morphed into a latent sort of distaste for the entire event. It had peaked in the last day, mostly because of the ridiculous grin that had erupted on his face when he'd seen her. In that moment, he'd realized how much he had missed her; a moment later, he felt angry with himself for still having feelings for her. He'd simply projected that anger onto her.

Surprisingly enough, he hadn't given much thought to their final scene in the kitchen that evening. He'd filed it in his head as just another moment where CC pushed him away and so anytime he'd revisited it in his mind, he'd seen it through that light. But had she pushed him away?

If it were any other woman, Niles probably would agree that she had. But this was CC Babcock, and the normal rules didn't apply. In fact, by CC standards, she'd been downright begging him to tell her to stay. And what had he done? He'd stood there like an idiot, thinking everything he should have said aloud. At the time, he'd told himself that she needed to convince herself.

It had never occurred to Niles that perhaps she didn't know how.

CC Babcock was unable to make anything but the practical decision; staying in New York for a man who'd insulted her for twelve years and kissed her twice was not exactly practical. And so it fell to Niles to turn the impracticality into a reasonable choice for her.

Was it fair to put the responsibility entirely on his shoulders? No, certainly not. But life with CC Babcock couldn't be categorized into something polar. There was no _fair_ and _unfair_; there was no _practical_ and _impractical_. Convincing CC was merely a necessary evil, but it was one Niles hadn't realized until just now.

After all, if it were easy to do, it wouldn't have anything to do with CC Babcock.


	6. Chapter Five

Chapter Five

CC kicked her front door shut behind her, the heavy steel door echoing against the high ceilings and bare brick walls of her loft apartment. She stepped out of her boots, the dark slush of the Chicago sidewalks dropping on the blond wood floor with little _plops_. Reaching into her bag, she unearthed a frozen meal, the plastic grocery bag sticking against it.

Her stockinged feet met the wood floor as she walked through the open floorplan to her kitchen. The plastic bag reluctantly released its hold on CC's dinner and decided instead to cling to the granite countertop as she read the directions on the back of the box. After she preheated the oven, she walked back to where she'd thoughtlessly abandoned her bag. There were far too many financial documents to look over and for the first time in a long time, CC didn't feel like doing any work.

Having forgiven CC for leaving him for a week, Chester teetered into the main living area from CC's bedroom where she had no doubt that he was shedding his fur over her pillow.

"Hungry, Chester?" CC asked, letting the full manila folders scatter a bit over her dining room table. Chester barked in response.

Before she could grab the bag of dog food from under the kitchen sink, she heard a knock at her door. Combined with Chester's renewed barking, the sounds echoed cacophonously around the apartment and instantaneously gave her a headache.

She turned the knob and the door opened to reveal Niles standing in the brightly lit hallway.

It took CC several moments to realize that she wasn't surprised at all. She'd left New York the day after Christmas as she had very few remaining excuses to stay. Her and Charles' gifts to each other had been a long discussion and then the mutually agreed-upon demise of their relationship. He'd said something about an enlightening conversation with his mother and she'd said very little except to agree. Neither had been sad but instead left feeling a little happier, knowing that for a while they'd been forcing their friendship into something it didn't fit into and now both felt the comfort of wearing something that finally fit properly.

Still, she hadn't revealed this to anyone in the family. She'd only given some lame excuse about getting back to work early and trying to beat the traffic for New Year's. Niles' conspicuous absence only made it a little easier to go.

That had happened a week and a half ago, and it only surprised her that she wasn't surprised at his arrival. She supposed she could have gone another year without seeing him and if she had happened upon him in the street, at a café perhaps, she still wouldn't have been surprised. Niles' presence in her life was practically a given, and so it was only surprising to her when he wasn't around.

"Evening, Babcock. May I come in?" Niles asked. He was the picture of cold, with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his gray wool coat and his shoulders hunched up near his ears.

"Sure," CC replied, stepping aside. Niles entered and she shut the door behind him. "What brings you to Chicago?"

"Certainly not your stupid questions," Niles answered, his eyes roving appraisingly around the apartment. "Very nice. Very…trendy."

"I didn't realize you were the resident expert on trendy urban living," CC said, stepping around him to walk into the kitchen to retrieve Chester's food.

"Do you like Chicago better than New York?" Niles asked.

CC sensed, not for the first time in their bungled mess of a relationship, that his question was not about living in Chicago at all. The problem was, not for the first time in their bungled mess of a relationship, that a lot hung on her answer and she couldn't quite figure out what he was really asking.

"Well," she began, "it's nice. I'm used to New York. If you have a lot of money, living in a big city is pretty much the same everywhere."

Niles' forehead wrinkled and CC knew it hadn't been the answer he was looking for.

"So, really, what are you doing here?" CC asked.

Niles couldn't stifle a smile; while he lived in subtlety and nuance, CC dwelled in demands and order. Not so in the inner workings of her mind, of course, but in the physical world, that's where she was.

"I'm here to do what I should have done a year and a half ago," Niles answered simply. Just then, the oven beeped to let her know it was preheated. "Making dinner?"

"You probably wouldn't call it that," CC responded. She put the dog food away and went over to grab the box that held her dinner.

"Oh, no," Niles said, plucking the box from her hands. "You did this in New York and now you're doing it in Chicago? You've lived in two of the culinary meccas of the United States, and you eat this?"

"I'm hungry _now_," CC replied defensively.

"And? Throw this in the trash, woman, I'm ordering in," Niles said. He took off his coat and tossed it over one of the dining room chairs; the ease with which he completed this movement sent a small thrill through her.

Niles pulled open the first drawer on the right, giving a self-satisfied smile that he knew where she kept the takeout menus. "Indian or Thai?"

"Indian," she responded from the other side of the apartment where she was fiddling with the thermostat.

Niles grinned again; he'd already put the Thai menu back. He didn't need to ask what she wanted and so picked up her phone and dialed the restaurant a block and a half away.

CC wondered what it was as she settled at the dining room table and flipped open a random folder. What was it that allowed them to be so free when they were so stifled before? Maybe it was the immense amount of history contained in the house in New York, the burden of the years they'd perhaps wasted, the whispers of the words they'd said and the echoes of everything that had gone unspoken. Or maybe it was just that they didn't need to worry about being overheard by Fran or Max or Sylvia or…the list went on.

Niles returned to her apartment a moment later, his arms laden with a paper bag of fragrant food. He tossed CC's keys at her and took off his shoes a moment later. Gesturing with his free hand, CC understood that he wanted her to clear off the table. A second later, she'd haphazardly put her paperwork on the couch and returned eagerly to the table. Niles sat down as well and parceled out the food.

"So what is it that you meant to do a year and a half ago?" CC asked.

"A grand gesture," Niles replied, sweeping some naan across his plate to capture the masala sauce.

"Indian food is your grand gesture?"

"Tell me your chicken tikka isn't grand," Niles tossed back.

CC bit back her smile and turned back to her food. She didn't know herself enough to know that he was doing exactly what she needed and in the exact way she needed it. He made his grand gesture—traveling to Chicago and arriving unannounced—and he was doing it in the way she needed it—not overwhelming her…yet.

"You aren't with Charles anymore," he said as a statement.

"No," she replied.

"How do you feel about that?"

CC shrugged. "I'm fine with it. How do _you_ feel about it?"

Niles raised his eyebrows and looked at her, surprised to find that she was staring at him intently. "I'm fine with it."

"I thought you might be," she answered.

"And why's that?"

A moment passed while she chewed and swallowed her food. "You always were content to sit back and let things happen."

She hadn't said it with any sort of anger but Niles felt his hackles raise nonetheless. "I see. And what leads you to believe that I'd care one way or another who you'd led back into your lair this week?"

To his further surprise, CC smiled. "Well, your grand gesture, for one thing."

Niles nodded slowly and elected to take another bite of his dinner. He supposed he could no longer, with any sort of credibility, claim indifference where CC was concerned. "Fine, fine. You're right. I never liked your boyfriend. He was far too stuffy."

"Whereas you think I should be with someone who…"

"Someone who…who…" Niles sighed. "Someone who realizes his mistake a year and a half later and buys Indian food."

"Hmm," she said, mock-thoughtfully, "I don't think I know anyone like that."

"I did both of those things, you insane woman!"

"Niles, you bought Indian food. I don't recall any mention of your mistakes," CC pointed out.

"CC, I've made so many mistakes that we don't have the time for me to list all of them right now," Niles said.

She elected to ignore his switch to using her first name and instead continued with, "Then why don't you just explain your most recent?"

"I only got one order of naan," Niles admitted.

"A completely unforgivable mistake," CC acknowledged.

"Then I hope the mistakes I've made where you're concerned are more forgivable," Niles said.

"Depends on what they are." Placing her fork across her empty plate, she sat back in her chair and looked at him.

"I let you go," he said quietly.

"You let me go," she agreed.

"I missed you every day for a year and a half and I never told you," he continued.

"You told me, back at Maxwell's," CC corrected.

"No, I told you but I didn't _tell_ you," Niles said, "properly, to use your favorite new word." He stood up suddenly, grabbed her hand, and pulled her out of her chair. He kept one hand in hers and the other nestled right under her ear so that his thumb touched her cheek. "I missed you every day. You weren't there in the morning, you weren't at lunch, you weren't in the office during the afternoon when I got bored. You weren't where you were supposed to be. I'd forget for a few moments and even, sometimes, for a whole set of hours, and then I'd walk to the grocery and I'd see something silly and it would hit me. It slowed me down, like I was trying to walk through molasses. Like I'd gone to the doctor and he announced I was missing some vital organ that I only noticed in its absence. And then I'd get angry. I was angry that you'd left, that you'd done it so easily."

"Niles—"

"And I didn't do a thing to stop you," he finished. "I was so angry, CC, and it wasn't until you came back that I realized I was angry with myself. I missed you so much, Babcock, and it took me 18 months to figure out what I needed to do."

"Buy Indian food?" CC guessed meekly in an attempt to deflect some attention away from the emotion-laden situation.

Niles smiled and slid his thumb along her soft cheek. "Buy Indian food."

"I'm very happy that you decided to buy Indian food," she told him quietly. This time, he understood the huge implications of what she'd just admitted and he understood that he shouldn't press for more…yet.

"I'd been craving it for some time," Niles said. They stood in a comfortable silence for a few moments before CC opened her mouth.

"So?" she asked.

"So?" Niles returned nervously, wondering what he'd forgotten.

"Kiss me, you idiot," CC demanded.

Niles laughed, so happy, so thrilled, so enthralled with this woman who would follow up his heartfelt confession by calling him an idiot, and so very, very grateful for Indian food.


End file.
